ZeroTwoMike Soldier

UPDATE!

2007-01-15T15:51:00.000-05:00

I would like to announce the creation of a new site!

This new site will feature the same MN military-centered news and commentary, but also will branch out a little more...involve more people and discuss more topics.

There will be also available some of the old ZTMS posts that I particularly like.

The working title is 'More Perfect Union.' And is currently in the design stage. Check it out here.

If there are any ZTMS readers who may want to contribute, please contact me, and we can discuss what you would plan to bring to the table.

Thanks, and hope to all see you soon...

PVT RYAN

A goodbye of sorts...

2006-12-30T22:27:00.000-05:00

ZTMS is officially going into retirement.

The demands of my position in the MN-ARNG the last months have not left me anytime to write, and as a result, this blog has been neglected. I feel it's best to move on from here.

However, I would like to thank everyone for all the kind words, encouragement, and insight I have received in my time here.

I will be starting another site in the very near future, hopefully the help of a couple of other Soldiers who's opinions I have grown to respect a great deal. More on that very soon...

In closing.

If you take anything from ZTMS please, let it be these names.

SGT TURCOTTE
SGT MCDONOUGH
SGT RYSTAD
SSG HANSON
SGT MILLER
SGT KOCH
SSG DAY
SGT LHOTKA
1LT TIMMERMAN

The above are all MNARNG 34th Infantry Division Soldiers/Minnesotans, who have died in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Remember them and their families always.

Also, remember the 36 other service members and 3 civilians from Minnesota who have given their lives in support of OIF.

St. Louis Park police officer Paul Reuben is still missing and unaccounted for in Iraq as well.

Remember all the above mentioned men.

No matter your political orientation, honor these men and honor their sacrifice.

If you cannot see past your political partisanship to remember these men as the Soldiers, Marines, Airmen, Sailors, and civilian patriots that they are...you truly have given in to the cynicism, selfishness, and callousness of the times we live in.

Please remember, we are all Americans. This is a nation of people not political parties; scholarly debate not protest slogans and bumper stickers; law not mobs; logic not emotion; real individuals not fashionable non-conformists.

Continue the mission!

1/34th Loses It's First Soldier

2006-06-19T08:59:00.000-04:00

It's a kinda somber day here at the capital as we learn more about the death of SPC Koch.

You can read more about him here.

More to follow later today after work.

All state flags are being flown at half staff, so if you display a flag at home or at work, please join us in honor of SPC Koch.

231 Years Of Service

2006-06-15T09:19:00.000-04:00

The US Army is celebrating 231 years of service this year. I thought it might be interesting to share the message I received.

The United States Army was born out of the desire to defend liberty and proudly celebrates its 231st birthday on 14 June 2006.

Since 1775, millions have worn the uniform and lived the Warrior Ethos. Soldiers have always understood that the freedoms our nation guarantees are worth fighting for and America's decision to put 'boots on the ground' illustrates like no other action its continued commitment to these ideals.

Today, AmericaÂs Army is engaged in a global war on terrorism and has a presence in 120 countries. Soldiers have long sacrificed their personal comfort and safety to answer a higher calling. Despite hardships and dangers to life and limb, Soldiers have always answered the call and our nation has long relied on your courage, your sacrifice and your selfless service.

To our Soldiers around the world, our thoughts are with you and your families on this 231st Army Birthday. We are proud to serve with you, as you embody the Warrior Ethos. You have made our Army the most respected institution in the United States and the pre-eminent land power on Earth. We are humbled by your sacrifice and awed by your achievements.

And check out the interactive 'Call to Duty' presentation outlining the Army from the Soldier to the Modularity Concept.

June 6th

2006-06-06T18:19:00.000-04:00

While some choose to focus on a scary movie or the significance of the date 6/6/06...I, like many others, both Soldiers and civilian alike, am taking time to remember what was done on the beaches of Normandy.

I always watch Saving Private Ryan on this day, as a way to remember and memorialize what was lost and accomplished. While the movie has it's corny Hollywood moments; I think anyone who has watched the actual landing scene in the beginning of the movie will not forget the graphic and realistic attempt to portray what that day looked like to those who had fought it.

Just for an instant, try to imagine yourself as a Soldier on that beachhead, having lost some or possibly all of your friends, looking up your sector to the merciless German lines manned by an enemy that is fighting for their lives just as hard as you are fighting for yours. Would you get out from behind whatever cover you find and expose yourself to withering small arms and heavy machine gun fire; would you advance up that beach into the teeth of an enemy that had been preparing for your arrival? Would you have done your job? Would you accomplish your mission?

Of course, none of us would really know what we would do unless we were there.

Now, I am not going to try and write an eloquent memorial of the Soldiers actions, as I have stated before on this blog, there are much better writers than me for that.

I am just writing as an enlisted Soldier, here in 2006, who has always been proud, amazed, and inspired by what those who have came before me have accomplished and sacrificed.

I am in awe...and am humbled to wear the same flag on my uniform.

"This We'll Defend"
(US Army motto)

USMC Drill Team

2006-04-18T11:08:00.000-04:00

Go here for a video of the USMC Silent Drill team. I had the pleasure of seeing them perform at the Excell a couple of years ago. They are quite simply put, amazing!

precision drill with bayonets affixed to old school M1, WWII style rifles...it's an incredible thing to see.

Watch the above clip for a sample. The video frame rate cannot even keep up with a lot of the movements.

And remember...they are using real bayonets the whole time.

MN Army National Guard, 150 Years Of Service

2006-04-17T16:38:00.000-04:00

This is the announcement I recieved today.

GOVERNOR PAWLENTY PROCLAIMS MINNESOTA NATIONAL GUARD DAY

In honor of the Minnesota National Guard’s 150th anniversary, Governor Tim Pawlenty today proclaimed it to be Minnesota National Guard Day.

The following is the text of the Governor’s official proclamation:

Whereas: The Minnesota National Guard was formed as the Pioneer Guard on April 17, 1856, two years before Minnesota was granted statehood; and

Whereas: The First Minnesota Infantry was the first regiment offered to President Lincoln during the Civil War, fighting bravely at the battles of Bull Run, Antietam, and Gettysburg; and

Whereas: The First Minnesota Infantry was pivotal in the Union victory at the Battle of Gettysburg; and

Whereas: Minnesota’s 175th Field Artillery, deployed with the 34th “Red Bull” Division, were among the first Americans to be dispatched to Europe in January of 1942; and

Whereas: Members of the Minnesota National Guard have served their country valiantly during the Civil War, World War I, World War II, the Korean War, Operation Desert Storm, Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom; and

Whereas: Currently over 2,800 members of the Minnesota National Guard are deployed around the world.

Now, Therefore, I, TIM PAWLENTY, Governor of Minnesota, do hereby proclaim Monday, April 17, 2006, to be Minnesota National Guard Day in the State of Minnesota and ask every Minnesotan to find a way to support and assist our Guard members and their families.

Live 11

2006-04-11T22:47:00.000-04:00

Top of nine, Joe Nathan is going to try for the save.

The crowd is loud, and Natan retires the first batter.

Ellis is at the plate and has been about a week behind the first 2 pitches. AND THERE IS THE THIRD!!!!! Out-friggen-standing!!! Ellis goes 0-for the night.

Nathan keeps it rolling on Kotsav getting him to chase the first pitch. He has some nice looking breaking stuff for 2 balls. I wish the crowd would stop booing...the last 3 pitches were balls. Kotsav fouls one off.

The count is full...this could end here...and...a walk. And the crowd boos again.

Brings up Crosby, who homered earlier. One on base two down; let the drama begin.

Nathan keeps going up high, he's a little excited.

And the counts full.

AND TORI GRABS THE LINE DRIVE TO CENTERFIELD!!! LET THE BEER FLOW AND THE WARM WEATHER BEGIN!

And the Twins win the home opener. 2-5 on the year. My sixer of Grain Belt is depleted and bed time has arrived. Thanks for putting up with my little experiment. Not sure I am going to make a habit of live blogging, but hey gotta try everything once right?

Live 11

2006-04-11T22:26:00.000-04:00

Top of 8. The A's have 6 outs left. Crain in on the hill.

And, Chavez hit's shot number 2. Bringing the A's within one. The game just got more interesting.

Looks like Rincon is next in line in the bullpen. Hopefully he won't be needed this inning.

Anyway, like I was saying earlier about getting the first run...well sometimes getting that first out is damn hard in the later innings especially in a 1 run game.

Crain puts Bradley down looking with a helluva pitch. But Payton takes Crain to the opposite field leaving 1 on base 2 dead.

We have a nice duel going between Crain and Kendall...BUT CASTRO MAKES A GREAT PLAY! He went deep in the pocket at short and came across his body to gun it over to first for the out.

AND NOW THE DQ COMMERCIAL FOR THE FOURTH TIME. Please Lord, make it stop.

Bottom of 8, we need a few runs, the Twins bats have been cooling down...but that is the ebb and flow of baseball.

But then Batista bounces one off the baggie in right field! He's had a helluva game.

Caldero takes Sarloos's space on the mound and ends the inning with 3 straight sliders.

End of 8, Twins by 1.

Anyone else think the information graphics 'sound effects' sound completely out of place and take away from the game? All the chirps and bleeps...sounds like a crappy Dr. Who soundtrack. T

Live 10

2006-04-11T22:11:00.000-04:00

The ad with the Twins mascot blasting a t-shirt through the fans living room ceiling with the shirt bazooka...friggen great!

And the denim shirts on the Chris and Jordanna spots for WFTC...man, they ain't been cool for at least a decade.

Radke is going to finish strong. He had one bad inning, but stayed composed and settled down. This next Grain Belt is for you Brad.

The seventh stretch is over, 'What a Wonderful World' has been sung. And the Twins are up.

Mauer is up again, and having a good game on both sides of the plate. Please Joe, get rid of the bellbottomed pants. I'm trying to improve my opinion of you brother...give me something to work with.

And in comes the relief for the A's. What can I say but, HEY HEY HEY GOODBYE! Although I am sure I will eat those words as the A's have a good club and are early favorites in the AL. Sarloos (sp?) is coming out gunning, and ends the inning quickly.

End of seven. Another quicke inning for the Twins and another cold bottle of Grain Belt goodness for me.

Live 9

2006-04-11T22:00:00.000-04:00

Radke is getting better as the game goes on here at the top of 6. The pitch selection is great, and he is letting the defense do thier job.

I just saw a dress my that my ex-girlfriend used to wear in a close up of the crowd on a Blyleven circle me bit. What a way to ruin a good ball game.

Again, Radke and the defense keep the A's at bay.

THERE IT IS!!!! THAT'S IT DAIRY QUEEN!! Y'alls done. Sebastian Joes...here I come.

Bottom of 6, Twins up by 3...my sixer of Primo down by 4.

Heron is keeping the Minnesota bats quiet. Although he will be gone soon.

End of 6, Twins starting to see daylight. The A's only have so many more oppertunities.

Live 8

2006-04-11T21:47:00.000-04:00

Twins in the top of 5 are maintaining.

Tori made a great stop in left-center to prevent the double. In one of the oh-so-important underappreciated type plays that never make the hilight reel.

Castillo ends the top of 5 with a great play at second. Again, the Twins D shuts the door on the A's and makes for a quick inning. I Love it!

So as long is it is a commercial break; does anyone else think that the way most players wear thier pants/stirrups looks like crap? I swear some of them have stirrups sewn on the bottoms of thier pant legs. In the extreme cases, like Bonds for instance, the pants are stretched to the bottom of his shoes. Sporty looking bellbottoms you jack ass.

Morneau lights the ball up!!!! Again, another ball to hold on to.

I have to wonder if Haren will make it through the rest of the inning. Although he just suckerd Batista down low for the K.

End of 5. Twins in charge. The D is kicking ass.

Live 7

2006-04-11T21:35:00.000-04:00

Radke and the defense is looking tough at the top of 4; we have to keep the train running. Radke and the right side of the infield have made a great play for out 2. The Twins defense has always outplayed the offense...one of the things I love about the team.

And Cuddy comes up huge with the diving catch in right field to end the inning!!!

SGT G, are you going nuts right now?

AND THERE IS THE DAMN DQ COMMERCIAL! WHY GOD WHY do you include a labor scene for an ice cream commercial? If I see that spot one more time, I will eat all my summer ice cream at Sebastian Joes in protest.

Bottom of 4, and it looks like that batting practice the Twins had in the third may be over as Heron puts 2 down back to back. The danger right now is to try and force hits by swinging at too much crap trying to spark another ass whupping.

But Mauer shows discipline and waits for a pitch and again shows off the speed as he slides into 2nd for a double.

The inning ends with a short fly ball into center.

End of 4. Twins in control. Keep up the D boys. And nickel and dime the A's to death with the bats.

How much have you missed baseball this year?

Live 6

2006-04-11T21:08:00.000-04:00

Cuddy is due...we need to turn 2 errors at shot into at least 1 run.

We are getting to Haren...but have not been able to get any mileage outta it yet.

And Cuddy goes down. 0-8 this season.

A sergeant I work with is convinced she is going to marry Cuddy. She must be in tears after that called 3rd strike.

End of the 2nd. Twins not in control.

The start of the 3rd...Radke gets tacked yard to left field. And we are not throwing the ball back. Jeez...throw it back. Stick up for your team will ya? Radke needs all the help he can get now that the good guys are down by 4.

But really, what fan does not throw the ball back? Whatta ya gonna do, sell it on eBay? Nobody wants that. Are you going to put it on your desk at work? Nobody wants to see a home run ball from the other team...they wanna see a Hunter or Mauer ball. I'm glad the fan was booed.

Anyway, the bottom of 3 is off to a good start. Back to back hits...we need to start some movement...some momentum. The first run, is often times the hardest one to get.

Mauer is at bat, which is good...I like a lefty in this position.

AND HE GOES OPPOSITE FIELD! 2 runs score! That is 3 decent shots to left field.

White bloops one to center and Mauer is showing that catchers have wheels too as he legs it out from 1st to 3rd.

Tori bangs in a run, it's now a 1 run game with 2 on the bags and 1 dead.

Like I said earlier, momentum. Most team sports are about momentum and what team has it. The second time through the line up and the Twins are on hop of Haren.

BATISTA!!! Blasts a 3 run shot! Welcome to 2006 Twins offense! Now there is a home run ball to hold on to people.

End of 3. Twins respond in kind with a 6 run inning. Radke has had some time to rest and hopefully will go into the 4th with a renewed confidence.

Live 5

2006-04-11T20:56:00.000-04:00

Bases juiced, and a line shot up the 1st baseline and leave us down by 3 with 2 on base and 1 dead.

Radke is not being helped with the umpire who is not giving an inside corner.

The Twinks gotta settle, especially Radke.

A dribbler to 2nd and a pop out to Stweart end the top of 2.

Dows anyone else notice the how weird the DQ commercial is? With the man and pregnant switching roles where the man is giving birth screaming 'you did this to me' at his wife? Gimme a friggen break. I get it, childbirth hurts. But come on...it's not something males 'do to' you. Don't wanna experience the pain of child birth? Don't have a kid. Or drug yourself up during labor.

Live 4

2006-04-11T20:49:00.000-04:00

Well...I was an inning late on the 1 run prediction. Radke got lit up. And Tori almost pulled an old Puck move in center. He was damn close too.

Crippled Frank Thomas just walked (questionably,) leaving 2 on the bags 1 out.

Live 3

2006-04-11T20:32:00.000-04:00

Radke is looking pretty good, pitching-wise that is. His face is a little more grizzled than I remember. And that is good, pitchers need to be ugly.

He's racked up 2 K's in the first inning...outstanding. Unlike Haren of the A's who walked Castillo.

Mauer has been looking good this season. I must admit, I never liked the kid (him being from the hated Cretin ball team.) I have always respected his skills, but I have always like the way AJ used to play the plate and the additude he brought to the game. Although, I am starting to come around on him...maybe if he was in one of the funny Twins commercials.

...

We have a runner in scoring position, with white at bat. He just went after a crap pitch that went low...and the inning is now over...thanks to his dribbler to short.

Inning over; Twins looking better than the A's thus far. And so the battle between 2 of the worst named teams in the leauge begins. Although the Twins will always be my team.

Live 2

2006-04-11T20:29:00.000-04:00

Great now, that all the pre-game fluff is outta the way, let's get the game rolling.

I am betting 1 run in the first inning for Radke.

Here's to me being wrong.

Home Opener Live Blogging

2006-04-11T20:22:00.000-04:00

The first Twins home game for the new season...my first live blogging session.

As far as the opening ceremonies...
Was it just me or did the UPN pre-game seem tacked on as all hell? They pimped the new luxury seats, the writing/script (or possible ad-libbing) by the intrepid WFTC team was corny, and they stayed way too long with the fans on camera outside the dome. Then again, maybe I am totally jealous that I have to be at work at 630 and I wish I had an obscene amount of Gain Belt in me and were there myself?

More Camp Shelby Pics

2006-03-30T12:22:00.000-05:00

A couple more pics of the 1/34 BCT deployment ceremony.

Center of the mass formation. This is where the BCTs colors and guidons are posted at attention...along with the senior leadership of the brigade.

The 34th Infantry Divison Band stands at attention waiting for review/inspection by Governor Pawlenty and the XO of the 1/34 BCT COL Elicerio.

Live From Kuwait

2006-03-29T13:14:00.000-05:00

This Thursday the 30th tune into the local news to get caught up with your 1/34th Brigade Combat Team as they arrive in Kuwait. There will be interviews with COL David Elicerio, Commander of the 1/34 BCT.

Here are the stations and times...
0540-0600 FOX Channel 9
0600-0615 WCCO Channel 4
0615-0630 KSTP Channel 5
0630-0645 KARE Channel 11

Tune in, and keep up to date with YOUR soldiers Minnesota.

Rubbing Elbows With The Politicians Underneath The Capital

2006-03-23T13:53:00.000-05:00

Hello all, it’s been an insane week here at JFHQ.

Most times, I feel like I am still in basic training. Between trying to park my car, navigate the tunnels underneath the capital, and learn my new position…i’ve been pretty stressed.

That being said, I think I am going to like it here. I get to serve my country in a new way, and I could not be prouder.

Well Duh...

2006-03-22T18:57:00.000-05:00

File this report in the 'no Sh_t' catagory.

Camp Shelby Deployment

2006-03-19T13:56:00.000-05:00

Here are some Camp Shelby pics.

It was a pretty amazing time. I have never been part of the Pass in Review ceremony before.

The ceremony itself ws pretty amazing. Close to 4000 soldiers were lined up in formation in the cold drizzly Mississippi rain. Governor Pawlenty was among the speakers, and gave a pretty good speech. Although I think he may have had a cold; either that or he was trying out his 'tough guy' voice.

A shot of the barracks we were billeted in.

A grainy and rainy shot of the main formation.

A post ceremony shot of me and the boys. (I am second on the left.)

Horrible Album Art Part 2

2006-03-19T13:19:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I googled Mr. Freddie Gage. Turns out he is a Baptist minister. And the album in question is in fact a sermon of his. Check out the good ministers web site.

Turns out I am not the only blogger who was curious after checking out the "All My Friends Are Dead" album cover.

Horrible Album Art

2006-03-19T12:18:00.000-05:00

I wasted a half hour of my precious time browsing through the Museum of Bad Album Covers...what the hell was I thinking?

Here are a few of the funnier ones

I would love to hear the music on this album. Seriously, I would. Wanna take any bets on what style of music is featured? I am going to venture a guess of country.

Packer fans.

It's albums like this one that make me glad I grew up in the alternative 90's. Thank god the graphic designers of my old Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Smashing Pumpkins albums had better sense than the jackass who came up with the crap above.

Stein Tribute

2006-03-15T00:50:00.000-05:00

This excerpt is from a Ben Stein column from a while ago, him commenting on Joel "I don't support the troops" Stein's moronic column.

It's a fitting last post, in tribute to the 1-34 BCT before I go down south.

The most heroic, ethically courageous, morally resolute men and women in the world today are the Americans, British, and other forces fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. They are fighting the most evil men and women currently on the world scene. The American Army soldier, Marine, Navy sailor, Air Force warrior, and Coast Guardsman fighting in Ramadi or Mosul is fighting men and women who kill children and old people for sport. The men and women of the United States military are fighting the remnants of a regime so evil that it pioneered the use of torture against children -- just for the amusement of Saddam and his family. The men and women whom Joel despises rid the world of a dictator so twisted and murderous that he openly admired Stalin and Hitler and sought to match their level of atrocities. The men and women who wear the uniform fought, bled, and died to rid the world of the most dangerous man on the planet in the most flammable place on the planet. They died to save a slave people from the genocidal control of a mad killer who thought nothing of gassing his own people, of wiping out entire regions, of setting up special rape rooms to allow his henchmen and his sons to rape women at will, who amused himself by pouring gasoline down the throats of totally innocent people and setting them on fire.

Counting his war against Iran and the murders of his own people, Saddam killed millions. He tortured many thousands more. Now his minions and holdouts are doing the same with bombs and sniper rifles to stop progress towards a humane society and to turn back the clock to a Hitlerite Iraq, despite the clear truth that 99 percent of the Iraqis want a free, lawful, democratic Iraq. (I guess Joel Stein thinks somehow it's those poor saps' fault, too.)

The man from Iowa or South Carolina, the woman from Mississippi or Idaho or Oregon or New York or California or Washington, D.C. or anywhere in America who leaves the comfort of home to fight against an evil as monstrous as what did happen and what is happening in Iraq are great warriors. But they are something more. They are saints in body armor, men and women of staggering moral virtue in a time and place when those words mean very little in the modern world. Their lives have the most meaning of any lives being lived on this earth right this moment.

Do I support men and women who are fighting Nazis who call themselves insurgents or Islamic militants? Do I support men and women who offer up their lives to fight the very same terrorists who killed three thousand totally guiltless Americans on 9/11? Do I support the troops who have more moral decency in their toes than I do or anyone I know does in our whole bodies? I support them, pray for them, am humbled just to be on the same planet with them. With every morning I wake up, every meal I eat, every walk I take in freedom, every night I sleep in peace, I ask God to look after the men and women who guard the ramparts of this blessed island of peace and decency called America. Without them, we would be nothing. Without them, Joel Stein would have his head sawed off. Saints in armor is what I call them and what they are. They are God's gifts to a wayward world.

Be safe and hang tough 1st BCT.

Camp Shelby Bound

2006-03-14T23:44:00.000-05:00

As of Wednesday morning 0500 hours, I will be on my way to Camp Shelby. I will be a part of the deployment ceremony, and will even be a part of a pass and review for Governor Pawlenty and the other dignitaries.

I have never participated let alone seen a deployment ceremony of this type before. I hope we can send the 1BCT off with dignity. And with the thought that all of us here are praying for their safe return and that we are behind them and support them 100%.

Be back in a few days.

My Last Day At Target

2006-03-14T23:39:00.000-05:00

Yup, that's it for me (at least in a full time capacity) at Target. The stockroom at T-2101 will have to make due without my beautiful face and charming wit. Just kidding, I am sure they are having a blast without mean ol' Ryan around.

But seriously, I will miss my friends at Target...but hey bigger and better things.

As of Monday, I start my new full time career in the Army.

Mom Expounds On My Run In With Kirby

2006-03-14T23:35:00.000-05:00

My mommy fills in some of the details of the time I met Kirby. Being I was just a little guy, she can better recall the day my brother Erik and I met the Puck.

I remember that day well--standing out there with you and your brother. The Twins were counting down the games they needed to win the division. Unfortunately they lost that game. We went down to wait to see if you and Erik were going to be lucky and get autographs. Many other Twins players passed us by--they were too busy, feeling bad because of the loss, etc. to stop and sign some "kids" baseball cards. Kirby, however, stopped, was very gracious and made sure that everyone who was in line got his autograph. He showed all of us what kind of a person he was and what was important to him. Something that both you and Erik will never forget--he mentioned the same thing when we talked to him.

Rest in peace Kirby.

Puck Tributes

2006-03-07T22:28:00.000-05:00

Here are some of the numerous tributes to the Puck that I think are worth a read.

Craig Westover
ESPN
KFAN's Tribute
Fox Sports
Kirby's Hall of Fame induction speech

Good reads about a great player...unlike asshat Barry Bonds...

Missed Tributes

2006-03-07T21:01:00.000-05:00

Once again Ben Sein hits the nail on the head. This time, it's in reaction to Oscar night.

No doubt the men and women who came to the Oscars in gowns that cost more than an Army Sergeant makes in a year, in limousines with champagne in the back seat, think they are working class heroes to attack America -- which has made it all possible for them. They are not. They would be heroes if they said that Moslem extremists are the worst threat to human decency since Hitler and Stalin. But someone might yell at them or even attack them with a knife if they said that, so they never will.

Hollywood is above all about self: self-congratulation, self-promotion, and above all, self-protection. This is human and basic, but let's not kid ourselves. There is no greatness there in the Kodak theater. The greatness is on patrol in Kirkuk. The greatness lies unable to sleep worrying about her man in Mosul. The greatness sleeps at Arlington National Cemetery and lies waiting for death in VA Hospitals. God help us that we have sunk so low as to confuse foolish and petty boasting with the real courage that keeps this nation and the many fools in it alive and flourishing on national TV

Read the whole thing, it's worth your time.

Thanks for the great link LGF!

Touch 'Em All Kirby Puckett

2006-03-07T18:04:00.000-05:00

As I am sure all have heard, Kirby Puckett and his huge smile are no longer with us.

I was in third grade when the Twins won their first World Series title. It was also that year when I stood outside the Metrodome for a period of time I do not remember and waited for the great Kirby Puckett to sign my 1987 Topps baseball card. He finally came out, and the other kids and myself sheepishly and shyly asked for his autograph.

He signed my card, and I still have it. It's something I will always keep.

Ever spring and summer, my little league coaches would try and mediate the arguments over who got the #34 jersey when they handed out uniforms. And every batting coach would try and keep us from emulating Kirby's little left foot kick he did prior to his swing. I remember my friends and I lining up against a deep center field fence to throw pop up "homerun" hits to eachother so we could try and jump up and rob the homers just like Kirby used to do.

I'm watching all the tributes to Kirby on TV, and for me, I get a little lump in my throat. I have the kind of feelings for Kirby that we all have for whatever heros we adopt as young children. He was a part of my childhood, a very fond part.

I am 26 now, and for most Minnesota guys my age, Kirby Puckett was our first baseball hero. All of our dads got to see Tony Oliva, Harmon Killebrew, Rod Carew...all the classic Twin greats.

But Kirby, he was our Twin.

St. Pattys Day

2006-03-03T20:06:00.000-05:00

Stay tuned for details on the MN Rollergirls/Ska Kings gig!!!

Little Creek Amphibious Naval Base STUCO Pics

2006-03-03T19:35:00.000-05:00

For those of you who were wondering what the hell I was doing in Norfolk...well...here are some pics. Although I was not in these pictures, I participated in the same kind of road march. In fact the last Norfolk picture is a nice shot of one of an old Drill SGT of mine.

Anyway...

Notice the naval utility craft in one of the harbors.

Marching up from the beach.

A drill about to yell. All those pipes you see are steam pipes, they power the entire naval facility.

Yours truly as part of an honor guard. (I'm on the right...with the M16.)

Whiskey Fans Rejoice

2006-03-02T00:46:00.000-05:00

Once again Fraters proves it's self to be your MOB roll booze hook up.

What would you say to a whiskey with an alcohol content of 92%??? If you're gonna go with a 'yes,' than you need to be at the next Second Hand Ska Kings gig on St. Patty's day with the Minnesota Roller Derby Girls in St. Paul (more info to follow.)

With an alcohol content of 92 per cent, the drink may not be the most delicate single malt ever produced but it is by far and away the world's strongest. Malt whisky usually has an alcohol content of between 40 percent and 63.5 percent.

The US Secret Service admitted in 2003 that it had been monitoring the distillery because the difference between distilling a fine whisky and making chemical weapons was "just a small tweak".

Go to Fraters read up, and follow the link on their site.

Career Shift

2006-03-02T00:13:00.000-05:00

As I had kind of dropped hints to earlier in December...I may be taking a more active role in my division.

Well, it's happened, I passed a pretty vigorous review board, and was offered a great opportunity to serve my country. I am now going to be working full time for the Guard at the Minnesota Joint Forces HQ, in St. Paul.

I'm really excited to continue my service in defense of our great nation and state as a career. More to follow in the future.

Planes, Trains, And Plantains...The Story Of Oedipus

2006-03-02T00:01:00.000-05:00

For those of you who know the Oedipus Rex story, here is one of the funniest reports I have ever read. I am not sure how old the student was, or where they went to school...

This link is NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!! Consider your self warned.

If you read it and get to the end...can you believe the grade the teacher gave it? Un-friggen-believable. If I had handed in that paper, my ass you have been nailed to the wall.

1st Brigade Combat Team Training At Camp Shelby

2006-02-27T12:52:00.000-05:00

I found some pictures of the 1BCT at gxonline of 34th MNARNG soldiers training up before their deployment to OIF.

Notice the new uniforms. The Army is moving away from the green camouflage BDU (battle dress uniform) and tan DCU (desert combat uniform) in favor of the ACU (advanced combat uniform.) Wheew...enough acronyms for ya?

Why IEDs Are A Losing Strategy

2006-02-22T19:16:00.000-05:00

Strategy Page has an outstanding post on why IEDs are employed so frequently by the Iraqi insurgency and why it will not not work in the long run.

IEDs have been around for several generations. The only reason they are getting so much ink in Iraq is because the terrorists are unable to inflict many casualties on American troops any other way. The Sunni Arab fighters in Iraq are, historically, a pretty inept and pathetic bunch. This can be seen in the amazingly low casualty rate of American troops. By comparison, an American soldier serving in Vietnam was over twice as likely to be killed or wounded.

IEDs were used in Vietnam, but caused (with mines and booby traps in general) only 13 percent of the casualties, compared to over 60 percent in Iraq. The reason for this is one that few journalists want to discuss openly. But historians can tell you; Arabs are lousy fighters. Hasn't always been this way, but for the last century or so, it has. This has more to do with poor leadership, and a culture that simply does not encourage those traits that are needed to produce a superior soldier. In a word, the North Vietnamese soldiers and Viet Cong guerrillas were better, and more deadly, fighters. Contributing factors include better training and equipment for American and Coalition troops. But most of the reason for the historically low casualty rates in Iraq have to do with Iraqis who don't know how to fight effectively.

There has been much written before (even before 9-11) about why Arab armies don't fare well in modern warfare. Arab wars with modern states (with Israel, Desert Storm, and Operation Iraqi Freedom) have failed miserably. Even the Iran/Iraq war proved a useless and pointless waste of life, with no real military objectives achieved. Most of this incompetence stems from a lack of an non-commissioned officer corp, fear based loyalty, and a general disregard for the welfare of the troops under their command.

That being said, typically the only way a determined enemy can inflict casualties in any meaningful way without themselves being killed is to resort to the kind of guerilla tactics we are seeing in Iraq.

And even the IEDs are starting to lose their effectiveness...although the threat is still just as deadly to the soldier on the ground.

Shot In The Dark Takes A Shot At Coleman

2006-02-20T13:24:00.000-05:00

Mitch Berg as usual, is doing a helluva job.

Check out his response to Nick "a step-mom is not really a mom" Coleman's second attack on the Midwest Heros (I will be linking to this soon) new ads.

More on this later...

No Problem Ya Ass

2006-02-20T12:48:00.000-05:00

Millionaire cry baby, coward, and all around douche bag Osama proclaims he will never be captured alive in a recent recorded message.

To paraphrase a Marine officer during OIF I, "this is a perfect war, they want to die, and we want to kill them."

Ummm....Yawn...Snore

2006-02-10T01:33:00.000-05:00

Kayne has put out 2 good albums and a good set of singles. He has a great flow, and the music itself is outstanding and moves asses.

But his belief that he should be in the Bible, along with that Rolling Stone cover with him dressed as Jesus...yeah, buddy...could you try any harder to be controversial? Booooorrrrriiinnnngggg....

Yeah, a really cocky hip-hopper with a huge inflated ego? Nothing new there.

Kayne, don't try so hard...let the music speak for itself.

How Did I Not Remember

2006-02-08T00:01:00.000-05:00

I completely forgot to recognize the year anniversary of ZeroTwoMikeSoldier!

It's been a really interesting year or so. I've got to join the ranks of the Minnesota Organization of Bloggers and Milblogs. I've gotten to meet some really interesting people at Keegans during Thursday night trivia. Hell, i've even been published in a news paper. It's been an interesting time here amongst the blog nerds.

This whole thing got started in 2003 when I followed a link for an post written by AM 1500's Dave Tompson to good old Fraters Libertas.

I remember reading Fraters for about 2 hours that night in my apartment on my ex-girlfriends laptop. I read posts on college hockey, the upcoming war in Iraq, 9-11 related content, and the Fraters take on beer and whiskey.

What I did not understand was that Fraters was part of a whole other universe of information...free and unadulterated by editors or newsrooms. Soon after I discovered Instapundit, Powerline, Mudville Gazette, Blackfive, Vox Day...and well, you have all seen how huge blog rolls are.

I can't overstate how much I have learned reading other blogs, or I guess to put it more accurately, others opinions and ideas. Free and unrestricted freedom of speech, God bless the internet. While some media outlets and politicians do what they can to discredit and deny the power of blogs; I believe in bloggers...because I believe in people.

Look at the influence bloggers are having both on news/media and politics on a local and national scale.

The citizen armed with a computer and a good research skills can influence the media, for instance...the Rathergate scandal.

A soldier armed with a computer can give you a more accurate picture of the state of events in Iraq...or at the very least an alternative to the mainstream media.

Blogs have made and will continue to make an impact on our media and our country. I know this idea is not new or original, but it's true, it;s worth repeating.

And the best part of the whole blog phenomenon? It's private citizens expressing what ever opinions and thoughts they want to without having rely on the media.

What blogs are to me is freedom FROM the media.

Looking forward to what the future holds! And thanks for reading.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT! THE SKA KINGS AT CLUB UNDERGROUND!

2006-02-07T18:28:00.000-05:00

Yeah, if you find your self in need of some hot horns, tight guitar, thumping bass, and some OUTSTANDING drumming from a certian handsome Private Ryan...haul yer butt over to Club Underground in NE Minneapolis.

Run over to the Second Hand Ska Kings page for more information.

And rumor has it...we MAY...I repeat MAY even make an apperance with the MN Rollergirls in the future.

Wounded Media

2006-02-01T18:31:00.000-05:00

Ever since the Woodruff/Vogt incident it seems like the coverage of the IED threat has been nearly non-stop and in depth.

While I feel for the wounded gentlemen and their families, Soldiers and Marines have been getting hit for almost the entire duration of OIF.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the dangers that Woodruff and Vogt took by leaving the relative safety of the Green Zone. They put themselves in danger to report the stories coming out of Iraq (and hopefully some of the successes of OIF.)

I just can't get beyond the feeling that for much of the media, the only time a servicemember is a big story anymore is when they are dead or wounded.

I think Uncle J at Blackfive said it best, "Pray for the recovery of Bob Woodruff and Doug Vogt. I'm sure that they won't ever forget who saved their lives."

Let's hope not.

Also check out this report about servicemember reaction in Iraq.

"The point that is currently being made (is that) that press folks are more important than mere military folks," a senior military officer told UPI Tuesday.

The unavoidable consequence of war is this: People are savagely wounded and killed. Soldiers in Iraq watching the coverage on satellite television and reading the news on the Internet are getting the impression that the press has only just discovered this fact.

It's not quite as simple as that, of course. Military personnel often express frustration that the media harps on military casualty reports at the expense of what they consider their successes in Iraq.

And at the end of the piece is a list is a particularly poignant (although incomplete) of those killed during the height of the Woodruff story.

Spc. Brian J. Schoff, 22, of Manchester, Tenn., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Jan. 28, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV.

Sgt. David L. Herrera, 26, of Oceanside, Calif., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Jan. 28, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations.

Lance Cpl. Billy D. Brixey Jr., 21, of Ferriday, La., died Jan. 27 at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Germany, from wounds received as a result of an improvised explosive device while traveling in a convoy in Afghanistan on Jan. 25.

Lance Cpl. Hugo R. Lopez, 20, of La Habra, Calif., died Jan. 27 at Brooke Army Medical Center, San Antonio, from wounds sustained from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Rawah, Iraq, on Nov. 20, 2005.

Staff Sgt. Jerry M. Durbin Jr., 26, of Spring, Texas, died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Jan. 25, when an improvised explosive device exploded near his dismounted patrol during combat operations.

Sgt. Joshua A. Johnson, 24, of Richford, Vt., died in Ramadi, Iraq, on Jan. 25, when a rocket propelled grenade struck his vehicle during combat operations.

Staff Sgt. Lance M. Chase, 32, of Oklahoma City, Okla., and Pfc. Peter D. Wagler, 18, of Partridge, Kan., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Jan. 23, of wounds sustained that day when an improvised explosive device detonated near their M1A2 Abrams tank during patrol operations.

Sgt. Sean H. Miles, 28, of Midlothian, Va., was killed in action Jan. 24 from small arms fire while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Karmah, Iraq.

Sgt. Matthew D. Hunter, 31, of Valley Grove, W.Va., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Jan. 23, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his dismounted patrol during combat operations.

Sgt. Sean H. Miles, 28, of Midlothian, Va., was killed in action Jan. 24 from small arms fire while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Karmah, Iraq.

Tech. Sgt. Jason L. Norton, 32, of Miami, Okla. and Staff Sgt. Brian McElroy, 28, of San Antonio, Texas, were killed Jan. 22, when their vehicle struck an improvised explosive device while conducting convoy escort duties in the vicinity of Taji, Iraq.

34th Infantry Divsion/1st Brigade Combat Team News

2006-01-30T12:08:00.000-05:00

The official National Guard Magazine, The Guard Experience has a feature called 'The Running With the Bulls,' that is following the 1/34 Brigade Combat Team of the MNARNG from Camp Shelby in Mississippi to OIF and back home again.

There is also the Red Bull Web where you can keep up with the 1/34.

Both links are under the 'Military Stuff' link section.

You Know You're A Drunkard When...The Only Time Shane MacGowan Looks Sober Is When He’s Standing Next To You

2006-01-30T11:57:00.000-05:00

I have a new link under the Nerdly Fun catagory for Moden Drunkard Magazine. Very hillarious!

Here is a sampling...

The 6 Circles of Hangover Hell

1st Circle: The Ducked Bullet

No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep was deep and all those carbo-loaded beers have gifted you with a week’s worth of misplaced energy. During lunch you torture your less fortunate coworkers, bragging about how you can pound booze all night, drink warm gin out of a dirty ashtray for breakfast, and still show up fifteen minutes early for work. You crave a steak sub and a side of gravy fries.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2nd Circle: The Thirsty Mongoloid

No real pain, but something is definitely amiss. You look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. You are definitely dehydrated and after drinking two Gatorades you still feel that way. You feel kinda dumb and you notice the temporary lowering of your IQ has made you more sociable and less concerned with workaday worries. You crave a fruity pancake from IHOP.

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3rd Circle: The Headwound That Won’t Heal

Slight headache. Stomach is upset. You are definitely not the paradigm of a productive worker. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the warm gin shots you did at your friend’s apartment after the bouncer ejected you at 1:45 a.m. Memories of bad behavior seep in and you cringe with shame. Life would be much, much better if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching Hogan’s Heroes reruns. You've had four cups of coffee, a gallon of water, three iced teas and a diet coke and you haven't peed once.

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4th Circle: The Hunchback of Cheap Champagne

You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or you’ll punctuate your sentences with vomit. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and reeking of booze. The clothes you put on won’t win you any fashion awards and your face looks like a golf green mowed by a blind junkie (ladies, it looks like you applied your make-up with a shotgun). Your eyes are red enough to give your features a lizardish cast and your hair makes your coworkers ask if you’re starting up a new wave band. You vaguely remember doing some really dumb and embarrassing things last night and you don’t care. You would murder your favorite bartender for a foot-long Bratwurst smothered with dijon and fried onions.

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5th Circle: Dr. Kevorkian’s Dream Date

You don’t feel human, you don’t even feel like a mammal. Your long morning shower didn’t take, no amount of soap could penetrate the coat of sleaze. You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employees sitting near you. You’re getting drunk from the vodka vapors seeping from every pore. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from the futile attempt to remove the taste of decaying rat. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, your tongue flops in your mouth like a nightmare-plagued wino thrashing around in his cardboard hooch. You'd cry like a baby but that would steal the last few drops of moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty awesome right now. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank, and why there is a stranger still passed out in your bed.

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6th Circle: The Infinite Nutsmacker

You wake up on your bathroom floor, your arms death-locked around your porcelain lover. You would vomit but you quite apparently took care of that last night, with none too good of an aim. You turn your head too quickly and smell the funk of 13 packs of cigarettes in your hair. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights—some sadist handed you a pack of Pall Mall nonfilters and you chain-smoked them like it was your full-time job, telling anyone who would listen that smoking filtered cigarettes is like drinking whiskey through a bar rag. You look in the mirror and find the Ready to Rock stamp has migrated from your right hand to your forehead with the help of Jager magic. You try to rehydrate but all you can stand is one cupped handful of brackish tap water. You crawl into the shower and the coldest water fails to revive your nerve endings as you mumble solemn oaths of never, ever letting a single drop of evil alcohol inside your body again. Ever .

If you could remember your behavior last night you would never step outside your apartment again, but the last thing you recall is accepting your ninth shot offer with the exhortation, “Fuck yes! Let’s get this party started!” Everything after that is a black vacuum populated with shifting, vaguely-menacing shapes.

Instead of yelling at you for being late, your boss solemnly invites you into his office to ask you if a parent or sibling passed away. Your super-sensitive ears pick up low talk among your coworkers about “interventions” and “rehab.” The cute girl from accounting you’ve been flirting with for three months looks at you like you’re a leprous hunchback who has come for her organs. You cannot bear to eat, the granola bar from the snack machine sticks in your craw like petrified log jammed in a woodchipper. You curse yourself for not calling in sick because all you can manage to do is sit in your chair and breathe . . . very gently.

The Real 'Loyal Opposition'

2006-01-24T22:23:00.000-05:00

First read here. It's the latest from those who fly into a screaming rage when you 'question their patriotism.'

Joel Stein self professed "guy who grew up with money, did well in school and hasn't so much as served on jury duty for his country," has finally done what so many anti war pundits, bloggers, celebrities, columnists, journalists, protesters, and 'anyone but Bush types,' have not had the integrity to admit...I DON'T SUPPORT our troops.

There you can all let out a refreshing sigh of relief...feel better? It's been a long couple of years for you hasn't it? You had to put yourself in that awkward position of having to disagree with a war while simotaneously supporting the troops.

Joel Stein is a spoiled elitist prick. Not unlike an ungrateful teenager who lives the luxurious life at the expense of his parent's hard work...all the while fully aware of his lack of contributions yet never once feeling the need to pitch in.

The truth is that people who pull triggers are ultimately responsible, whether they're following orders or not. An army of people making individual moral choices may be inefficient, but an army of people ignoring their morality is horrifying.

No my friend, an army of soldiers ignoring their morality would be more than horrifying, it would be nothing less than a massacre of all men, women, and children in any town that the US military has touched in Iraq. As of yet, I do believe that has not happened. You are an ass that knows nothing of the measures soldiers go through to keep non-combatants out of the line of fire.

I could go on, but other, better bloggers are going to give him his MUCH needed fisking.

I think Joel's feelings are much more prevalent in the 'loyal opposition' than most would care to admit.

Joel's 'concern' for the troops has nothing to do with their welfare...and everything to do with politics.

Wha...Tha...Fuh...

2006-01-17T13:02:00.000-05:00

Is there any doubt that New Orleans had little to no chance of getting through Hurricane Katrina in an orderly manner?

New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin's latest sound-byte (from katrinacoverage.com)

"Surely God is mad at America. He sent us hurricane after hurricane after hurricane, and it's destroyed and put stress on this country… …Surely he doesn't approve of us being in Iraq under false pretenses. But surely he is upset at black America also. We're not taking care of ourselves… …It's time for us to come together. It's time for us to rebuild New Orleans — the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans…This city will be a majority African American city. It's the way God wants it to be. You can't have New Orleans no other way. It wouldn't be New Orleans."

It would be too easy to point out what would happen had a white politician uttered such BS.

Mayor Nagin is as big of a political whore as any Washington DC gas-bag.

What Supreme Court Justice Would You Be...Fool?

2006-01-15T22:28:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know this is dumb...but what the hell...

Maybe I should use my GI Bill for law school instead of that masters in education?

well...I guess I would be;

You're Antonin Scalia! Boy how those Democrats
regret unanimously confirming you. You're
constantly a thorn in the side of all your
liberal colleagues, you completely control your
closest allies, and your wit and charm cover up
the fact that you are pure evil. Everyone
loves you... at least, those who aren't scared
to death of you.

Which Supreme Court Justice Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

This Will Make My Night If It Is True

2006-01-13T22:53:00.000-05:00

The good Dr. Zawahiri may have been incinerated (not unlike our fellow Americans on September 11) near the Afghan border in a small town.

Let's hope the forensic tests show that we took this murdering bastard out.

So, as I get ready to depart for the CC Club, Dr. Zawahiri...if you are floating around in some other world right now and you can somehow see me; in about 15 minutes...know that as I toast my friends with a nice Grain Belt Premium tonight, I am hoping and waiting patiently to hear confirmation that you were spattered all over the Pakistani countryside.

Yardley, For The Discriminating Gentleman

2006-01-12T22:27:00.000-05:00

For those of you Yardley Men, and non-Yardley men...as well as Pip of STUCO, Naval Amphibious Base Little Creek, I would direct your attention to this website of distinction.

Who can identify where this pic (of a devilishly handsome Private Ryan) was taken?

Who remembers morning formation in front of this heap of a building?

"Rolllll...drill sergeant, rolllll...can ya dig it?" My god I hated that at 0500 in the morning.

Think You Meet The Army Standard With An M-16?

2006-01-10T22:04:00.000-05:00

Here is a great little flash game that approximates a standard Army rifle range.

The BRM (basic rifle marksmanship) qualification gives a soldier an M16, 2 magazines (20 rounds each,) a foxhole (tall enough to stand in,) and a sandbag or other means to steady your rifle while firing from a supported position.

There are 2 rounds in which the soldier fires from a standing position inside the foxhole utilizing sandbags to support the rifle. The second round is done from the prone (lying down) position. Each round the soldier will be given 1 magazine with 20 rounds.

The actual range itself has berms with popup human silhouettes ranging from 30m to 300m. The closer the target the less time you have to react, acquire, aim, and unload on it. The farthest target at 300m giving a soldier roughly 7 seconds to fire.

The targets pop up either 1 or 2 at a time. You may fire more than once at a target you've missed. If your rifle malfunctions, the test continues and your score will still be recorded...all the more reason to keep your weapon clean and oiled.

Each round that drops a target counts for 1 point. A perfect score would be 40/40. A failing score would be 23 (I think) or below. There are 3 different rifle badges in the US Army, marksman, sharpshooter, and expert.

Yours truly is sporting the sharpshooter badge currently.

Anyway, check out the game, and get a taste. Good hunting.

Bonus Vin Diesel Facts

2006-01-06T01:12:00.000-05:00

I think I may have moved from nerd to uber-nerd with this post...anyway, enjoy!

Visit the home of the Norris, Diesel, and Mr. T interesting facts!

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT VIN DIESEL (Although some of these have been found true of Norris)
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."

When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Vin Diesel and forgot to pay him back.

Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.

On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

The Mexican Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) originated when Vin Diesel was served an unsatisfactory dinner in Guadelajara.

If Vin Diesel had a nickel for every illegitimate child he fathered the resulting amount of money would be enough to pay off the national debt of every country. The left over amount would also be enough to end poverty and starvation. When confronted with this fact Vin simply replied with, "Those child support payments are a bitch."

Vin Diesel, after drinking two Red Bulls, was recently spotted urinating off of the Eiffel Tower into a strategically situated violin case. Despite 27 MPH crosswinds, his aim was uncanny, filling the violin case without missing with a single droplet.

Vin Diesel could eat broken shards of glass for breakfast if he wanted to. However, he doesn't, because he prefers to drink molten lava.

Vin Diesel can speak in Wingdings.

Vin Diesel rinses his contact lenses in the juices of habanero peppers.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Vin Diesel, while trying to find out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop, mistakenly bit into the tootsie pop and caused the San Andreas Fault.

Vin Diesel once performed a miracle by turning water into funk.

Vin Diesel can survive four-and-a-half months without water, but only 12 hours without Taco Bell.

Vin Diesel built the entire continent of Atlantis out of Laffy Taffy, some snap bracelets, and a bedazzler.

Vin Diesel once constructed a fully functioning time machine, simply so he could buy a can of Surge.

Vin Diesel is the winner of the human race.

Vin Diesel recently added 'moose' to his "Animals That Tried to Fight Me and Lost" list.

Vin Diesel wrote the Necronomicon, loosely based on a drunken three-day binge he had in Tijuana.

During the 'Reign of Terror,' Vin Diesel was a major advisor to Robespierre. When brought to the guillotine, Vin's neck shattered the blade upon impact.

Vin Diesel was the one that originally taught that kid from Mighty Ducks 2 the "Knucklepuck."

Vin Diesel knows there can be only one.

Wow, 2 posts of straight dork in a row. There were some downright obscure references in this one however.

I promise this is the last one, I will stop now.

The First Rule Of Infantry Combat According To Chuck Norris Is...Cover Is For Wussies And The French

2006-01-05T09:00:00.000-05:00

Greetings,

For those of you like me, who find the various Chuck Norris random facts hi-effing-larious...here is a list of my favorites. If you ain't hip to tha Chuck...well, get cool sucka...go here.

By the way...some of these facts are NOT SAFE FOR WORK, although you are already here, so I guess yer screwed!

FAVORITE CHUCK NORRIS FACTS!
Helen Keller's favorite color was Chuck Norris.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not see dead people; he makes people dead.

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'".

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for a +500 gain to roundhouse ability.

Chuck Norris is the only male to give birth. His only child; Vin Diesel.

Chuck Norris can ejaculate through solid steel.

The letters in Chuck Norris' name can be rearranged to spell "Doom" in twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Ever.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down!

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was "more humane".

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided into two.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes. Ever.

Chuck Norris defeated the Canadian Army with a rusty wooden spoon

A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at your grimly.

Chuck Norris was a hidden playable character on Mortal Kombat 2 on the Sega Genesis.

Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Jackie Chan in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Chan in the side of the face

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Chuck Norris knows what the extra 5 letters are

Chuck Norris is where babies come from.

Chuck Norris has been in every porn video since 1985.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris invented Viagra.

Chuck Norris commands all five lions of Voltron simultaneously.

Chuck Norris consumes 87 cans of mayonaise in a week

One time while sparring with wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by it’s technical term: Jupiter

As well as being an actor, martial artist, and poet, Chuck Norris is also a world renowned physicist. It was in this capacity that he once had a disagreement about steady-state theory with Stephen Hawking. Hence the Wheelchair

If you were to lock Chuck Norris in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, and it would sweep the Grammies. When asked why he doesn’t do this, Chuck would reply, “Because Grammies are for queers.” He then would eat a knife to show the seriousness of his response

Chuck Norris only yells “Chuck Norris” at concerts when everyone else is yelling “Freebird”

Chuck Norris blew up the Death Star

Chuck Norris fought every war in history under the nickname, “the military”.

Chuck Norris can kill a cat in seven different ways, four of which involve throwing missiles at it

Chuck Norris can watch a DVD by holding it up to the light.

The DVD extra for “Texas Ranger” is “Chuck Norris’ Roundhouse Kick Gallery” and it spans 129 discs.

Chuck Norris knows where in the world Carmen San Diego is.

The 1986 World Series was a result of Chuck Norris staring at Billy Buckner really hard.

When you play Stairway to Heaven backwards it says Chuck Norris

The Army's slogan, "Army of One," was based on every single Chuck Norris movie ever created.

Wheew...the NERD factor is at an all time high here on ZTMS!

Americas Finest News Source

2005-12-28T00:58:00.000-05:00

Check operation 'Screw This.'

God I love The Onion.

Friggen Vikes...

2005-12-25T23:28:00.000-05:00

Yeah, Johnson just fumbled...f_ck!

The Vikes have not lost yet. Still another minute until that...goodbye playoffs. We done.

A Little Christmas Humor For All You Army Types

2005-12-25T03:08:00.000-05:00

Military Christmas

OPERATION ORDER 12-98 FOR: OFFICIAL VISIT OF LTG SANTA CLAUS

1. An official staff visit by LTG Claus is expected at this post on
25 Dec. The following directives govern activities of all Army
personnel during the visit.

a. Not a creature will stir without permission. This includes
warrant officers and mice. Soldiers may obtain special stirring
permits for necessary administrative action through the Battalion S-1.
Officer stirring permits must be obtained through the Deputy, Post
Plans and Policy Office.

b. All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap NLT
2200 hours, 24 December. Uniform for the nap will be; Pajamas,
Cotton, Light Weight, General Purpose, OG, and Cap, BDU woodland
pattern, with ear flaps in the extended position. Equipment will be
drawn from the supply room prior to 1900 hours. While at supply, all
personnel will review their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash
Collection Voucher, DD Form 1131, for all missing items. Remember,
this is the "season of giving."

c. Personnel will utilize standard "T" ration sugar plums for visions
to dance through their heads. Sugar plums are available in "T"
ration sundry packs and should be eaten with egg loaf, chopped ham,
and spice cake to ensure maximum visions are experienced.

d. Stockings, Wool, Cushion Sole, will be hung by the chimneys with
care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires
caused by carelessly hung stockings. 1SG's will submit stocking
handling plans to S-3, Training prior to 0800 hours, 24 Dec. All
leaders will ensure their subordinate personnel are briefed on the
safety aspects of stocking hanging.

e. At first of clatter, all personnel will spring from their beds to
investigate and evaluate the cause. Immediate action will be taken to
tear open the shutters and throw up the window sashes. On order OPLAN
7-97 (North Pole), para 6-8 (c)(3), dated 4 March, this office, takes
effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. SDO and all
CQs will be familiar with procedures and are responsible for seeing
that no shutters are torn or sashes thrown in Bldg 9828 prior to the
start of official clatter.

f. Prior to 0001, date of visit, all personnel possessing Standard
Target Acquisition and Night Observation (STANO) equipment will be
assigned "wandering eyeball" stations. The SDNCO will ensure that
these stations are adequately manned even after shutters are torn
and sashes are thrown.

g. The Battalion S-4, in coordination with the National Security
Agency and the Motor Pool will assign on each Sliegh, Miniature, M-24
and eight reindeer, tiny, for use by LTG Claus. The assigned driver
must have a current sleigh operators license with roof top permit and
evidence of attendance at the winter driving class stamped on his DA
Form 348. Driver must also be able to clearly shout "On Dancer, On
Dancer, etc."

2. LTG Claus will initially enter Bldg. 9828 through the dayroom. All
offices without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M6A2 for use
during the visit. Draw chimney simulator on DA Form 2765-1 which will
be submitted in four copies to the S-4 prior to 23 Dec. Personnel
will ensure that chimneys are properly cleaned before turn-in at the
conclusion of visit. 3. Personnel will be rehearsed in the shouting
of "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" or "Merry Christmas To All
and To All a Good Night." This shout will be given upon termination
of the visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of each
section NCOIC.

FOR THE COMMANDER
GOODE, U. B. LTC,
OD Executive Officer

End Of Document

The Purple People Eatery

2005-12-23T01:42:00.000-05:00

I will be performing at the Purple People Eatery in Woodbury from 10 to midnight.

I will be apperaring with my old bass player from the Beads, Matt Stevens (currently with Wookiefoot.)

Hope to see some of you there.

Terrible

2005-12-22T23:20:00.000-05:00

Thoughts and prayers with Tony Dungy and his family after hearing about the death of his 18 year old son.

An excerpt from ESPN recalling Colts defensive tackle Corey Simon going to coach Dungy for some support.

Just recently, Simon and his family experienced a tragedy similar to the one the Dungys are going through. Tony Dungy has an open-door policy. Simon walked in and told him the situation. They prayed together.

"He told me that I have to be strong," Simon recalled. "That I have to be the man and when I walk in my house, I have to be strong for my wife and allow her to grieve. He helped me to understand that God's will is pleasing and perfect. He said that maybe I can't see it and maybe not in that particular situation and that particular time, but in God's time, things are going to work out.

"It's big being able to sit down and have that conversation with your coach. It helps you see that life is so much bigger than this game."

I always liked Tony Dungy. While he was here in Minnesota...he added a touch of class and dignity to a team that often needed both.

Not having children of my own, I am not even going to try and understand. I'll join NFL fans across the country in sending condolences to the Dungy family.

New Look

2005-12-20T18:54:00.000-05:00

Hey there. I am not completely done yet, but the big stuff is all in place.

I have comments again...and a cool new graphic. Anyone know where it is from?

More later.

Heads Up

2005-12-20T15:55:00.000-05:00

I am going to be updating the site here for the next couple of days. So if you see some graphical craziness...it will pass quickly.

Must Read At Mudville

2005-12-20T12:50:00.000-05:00

Go to Mudville and read an amazing letter.

For whatever reason, the last few days what Cindy Sheehan said "Casey didn't die for a just cause" has been on my mind. Maybe it is because some people have felt comfortable enough four months out to ask me how I felt about Mike's death and whether I thought the cause was "just" enough to justify his sacrifice.

My response is that Mike didn't die for a "just cause", he died JUST BECAUSE - just because he loved his country enough to want to serve it since the time he was in middle school; just because he loved his family enough to want to protect them; just because he loved his friends enough that he would rather fight a war "there" than here; just because he believed in our order of government whereby the civilian government rules and the military obeys, and when the President, with lawful authority, calls upon soldiers to go and fight, he believed it was not only his duty, but his honor to go; just because he wouldn't let his fellow soldiers - his guys - go it alone; and just because he wanted to do for others - the Iraqi people - what he would do for his own country.

A good friend of our family, Charles Carmical, wrote these words in tribute to Mike - “Would I lay down my life for a country to defend? I willing would if it housed my family and friends."

Mike Stokely didn't die for a just cause, he died for a lot of just causes, including the ones I set out above. I wish I were fit to tie his shoe laces but I am fortunate enough to have a son who believed in God, family, duty, honor and country and who certainly turned out to be the better of the two of us.

Robert Stokely, Lucky and Proud to be the Dad of
SGT Michael "Mike" James Stokely, KIA Operation Iraqi Freedom 16 Aug 05
2nd Platoon, E Troop 108th CAV 48h Brigaded GA NATL GUARD
15 miles south of Baghdad near Yusufiyah / IED

One Additional Katrina Thought

2005-12-18T19:33:00.000-05:00

I think one of the lessons to be learned from Katrina is the importance of good leadership.

Compare for a moment if you will the actions and words of NYC mayor Giuliani in the wake of 9-11 and New Orleans mayor Nagin in the wake of Katrina.

I am not trying to draw comparisons in tragedies, just comparing leadership...and the leadership speaks for it's self.

The Hype Of Katrina Part II

2005-12-18T19:18:00.000-05:00

If we can't get an at lest semi-accurate picture out of Katrina...why expect one from Iraq.

As divisive as Katrina was on the domestic homefront, Iraq is even MORE divisive and partisan. With more human tragedy and suffering and the ever present IEDs, dead US soldiers, and a political angle...the result is the distorted perception of Iraq presented in most US media.

The Hype Of Katrina

2005-12-18T17:36:00.000-05:00

Holocaust and 9-11 comparisons were made. Another example of American racism, oppression, and neglect of African Americans and the poor. Death tolls in the tens of thousands.

Again, our much vaunted American media prove themselves once to be the whores with press passes so many claim them to be.

Nothing sells like death, human tragedy, and a chance to get in a shot at ones political enemies.

Everything you read about Katrina was wrong, and was, sorry, racist. An enormous amount of PR damage was done to the US, and race tensions were fanned without any factual basis. Will the MSM address this?

Above quote found here via Instapundit.

Now the LA Times comes out with an article stating,

The analysis contradicts what swiftly became conventional wisdom in the days after the storm hit; that it was the city's poorest African American residents who bore the brunt of the hurricane. Slightly more than half of the bodies were found in the city's poorer neighborhoods, with the remainder scattered throughout middle-class and even some richer districts.

And let's not forget the otherover-hypedd and exaggerated 'reports' wereceivedd in the weeks following Katrina.

-Initial death tollassessmentss
-The reported rapes and killings from the Superdome
-Gangs and criminals ruling the streets, killing and robbing at will
-Police force and National Guard soldiers shooting and killing residents

Those are the morewidelyy accepted of the myths that arose out of Katrina. There are many more that have been circulated since.

Although there have been MSM outlets that have published articles attempting to do some mythbusting, the damage has been done...both here and abroad. Anyone who has seen the Kayne West outburst or then Police Chief Compass and New Orleans Mayor Nagin on Oprah telling stories of gangs killing and raping as well as people trying to give away dying babies has seen that.

Now typically the media gets some information wrong in initial reports (see the 2000 presidential election or early 9-11 reports.) But once again, the hype machine was in full swing post-Katrina, and the hard questions were not asked of some officials that should of been. Objectivityy was not important...misery and blame was. It was a pathetic competition to find the most tragic and extreme story. We all remember reporters usingtheirr 'serious and somber' faces while standing in 2 feet of standing water intheirr rain gear. All I could think of wasSpringfield'ss own Kent Brockman.

Now, this guy is not denying this was not a tragedy...but let's keep some perspective. Over-hypedd news coverage has not helped anything in New Orleans.

Happy Birthday Jesus...Hope You Like Crap 3

2005-12-15T01:02:00.000-05:00

The reason family members fight on Christmas? Turkey, potatoes, and booze.

Holy crap I hope these scientists were not paid well.

Well done morons.

Bummed Out!

2005-12-15T00:51:00.000-05:00

Yeah...completely bummed out.

The 82nd Airborne had positions open for my MOS this summer...there are many days when I wonder if I should have not just gone for it and tried to get in...I wonder about it quite often.

I REALLY wanted to go down to Mississippi.

A HUGE sorry to the reader that wrote me earlier...and thanked me for doing my part to go down and relieve the 1BCT of duty so they could come home. I am sorry to say after the final orders were drafted...I am NOT going to be partaking in that mission. The FRAGOS had me included, but I guess the mission planners had other ideas. But still...god bless and keep your son just the same.

G'night.

How Dissapointed Am I?

2005-12-14T18:44:00.000-05:00

Well...the final orders for the 34th sustainment brigade mission have been posted, and evidently they are not in need of my service.

So I guess I will be home for Christmas after all...I will be glad to be home...but increadably disapointed at not being able to help.

This has been a huge let down for me.

Happy Birthday Jesus...Hope You Like Crap II

2005-12-14T00:33:00.000-05:00

You gotta be crapping me...read here.

Happy Birthday Jesus...Hope You Like Crap

2005-12-12T00:24:00.000-05:00

God...why did I watch them do 'Oh Holy Night' this evening on TV.

My favorite Christmas hymn ruined again this year. Thanks for the cheese fest. How can you guys play that crap with a straight face.

Who the hell is buying all those records?

Hmmm...

2005-12-11T23:33:00.000-05:00

Did anyone see the Vikings wrap-ups on both FOX-9 and UPN-29 tonight?

Is it odd that the audio cut being played while the video of the big plays rolled was none other than 'Here Come The Bastards' by my beloved Primus?

Anyone else catch that?

Intersting...

Amen

2005-12-11T23:22:00.000-05:00

After working my first 'Target Christmas,' I am glad I will be in Mississippi this Xmas.

Saint Paul Chamber Orchestra Military Tribute

2005-12-09T00:24:00.000-05:00

Greetings...

Tomorrow I am going to have the honor of being part of the color guard for a special military tribute in conjunction with the Saint Paul Chamber Orchestra. The orchestra will feature some members of Minnesota's own 34th Infantry Division band.

IT should be a great night!

This is an invite only event, military and military families of deployed 34th soldiers.

Southern Christmas

2005-12-06T18:04:00.000-05:00

Hey there all.

It looks like it won't be a white Christmas for me this year. I will be sent to Camp Shelby in Mississippi for a little while so soldiers that are participating in Op Iraqi Freedom can spend Christmas at home.

Specifically I will temporarily be part of the security detail for the 1st Brigade Combat Team.

For most of these soldiers this will be their last time home before heading overseas.

Not to be too morbid, but let's be realistic...this Christmas will be the last one for many soldiers already deployed overseas...lets pray the soldiers of the 1BCT will return home safe with all their soldiers.

I'm humbled to be able to help these soldiers.

Exciting Stuff

2005-12-05T23:42:00.000-05:00

I have some possible cool news.

I may be moving from a reserve Army role, to a much more active role.

And I may be sent to Mississippi for some temporary duty.

More to follow...

Is It Any Wonder...

2005-11-22T21:13:00.000-05:00

Warren Community College's english professor John Daly has found himself in the midst of a controversy.

Freshman student Rebecca Beach was promoting a campus program featuring LTC Scott Rutter, OIF veteran. Flyers were posted around campus and an email sent to the faculty informing them of the event. Simply an academic speaker, making a one night appearance.

Instead of deleting an email he disagreed with...John Daly decided to tear into a freshman and advocate soldiers killing superiors.

Or to quote WorldNetDaily...

English professor John Daly replied: "Real freedom will come when soldiers in Iraq turn their guns on their superiors."

Daly added that he would ask his students to boycott the event and also vowed "to expose [her] right-wing, anti-people politics until groups like [Rebecca’s] won’t dare show their face on a college campus."

Yeah...that's academic freedom. Is it any wonder why academia is not held in the esteem it once was.

Now that Daly is rolling, he can't help but throw in his socio-political-corperate reasons for why he is aginst OIF. Someone has studied his Marx...has'nt he?

"...capitalism has killed many more" people than communism and that "poor and working class people" are recruited to "fight and die for EXXON and other corporations."

Wow! Brilliant! Straight outta any local high school political course...or any local weekly arts and entertainment rag.

Our embattled professor; vanguard of free speech, martyr and sacrifice on the alter of nationalism and war goes on to describe the horrible price for speaking your mind in this modern-day Nazi Germany.

Congrats Daly...you've joined the great ranks of Peter Kirsten and Ward Churchill from Colorado University.

Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from criticisim...ass.

Veronica Mars...Here We Come!

2005-11-22T02:15:00.000-05:00

So...it's official. TheSecond Hand Ska Kings will make thier UPN debut on Veronica Mars...Wednesday, 8 or 9 at night, i'm not entirely sure.

We get to join artists like the Dandy Warhols and Mike Doughty (yeah, he's the singer from Soul Coughing.) Not bad for a bunch of Minnesota rubes.

Who would of though a bunch of beer, up-beats, songs about hatred of guitars, love of lager induced delerium would lead to something like Veronica Mars...internet is a strange place.

Hope you tune in to hear 'No More Guitars' next Wednesday.

Final Salute

2005-11-20T19:39:00.000-05:00

IF you have some personal 'all by yourself' time. I suggest you read the Final Salute feature in the Rock Mountain News. Forget politics, forget the editorial pages and blogs...just read.

Don't for one second forget what is going on overseas, and what is going on for the roughly 2,100 OIF Soldiers, Marines, Airmen, and Sailors who have fallen far away from home.

Duty Honor Country

Those words are not without meaning.

Thanks for the heads up Blackfive.

Zarqawi Dead?

2005-11-20T17:19:00.000-05:00

We've all heard this before, i'm a little more optimistic this time. Especially given the level of resistance offered.

Let's hope this asshat is no longer breathing.

Jody's Got Your Girl And Gone

2005-11-17T20:35:00.000-05:00

I have been holding off for a while on trying to post on Jarhead. I saw it when it first came out, and honestly I am still trying to figure out what I think.

There is really not much of a plot to the movie. It just follows a Marine through basic training, to OP Desert Shield/Storm and home again. Although I think it paints the Marines in an unflattering light, it is not entirely undeserved. Marines are one of a kind...at least in this soldiers view...at least from my Norfolk experiences anyway.

There are some who find some political bents, and they are there, albiet subtle in my opinion.

Like I said earlier, i'm not sure what to think. Although there were some basic training scenes that took me back.

Really what really got to me were the girlfriend scenes. If you want an inkling in to my personal life and the manner I was unceremoniusly dumped...then view on.

Nothing screws with someones head more (it least in this guys opinion) when they are away from home and letter from a significant other that feels distant...or cold. Soldiers away from home need support and encouragement. They need that solid rock back home...not that they expect life to stand still when they are away...they just need to know they have someone to come home too. Even the homecoming is hard...you'd think it will be great...but no. You are wondering if everything is okay between said person and yourself.

If that support is taken away, it can get pretty ugly. I've seen the 'I was just dumped...or cheated on' face plenty of times when i've been away, and it always sent a little chill down my spine and sparked a little flicker of doubt in the back of my mind. At least in my case she waited until we got home from the airport after she picked me up.

Trying to get peoples heads on straight after that phone call or letter is tough enough...but throw in the whole military part of it...and it can almost be overwhelming.

I was asked today what or who 'Jody' is. She had seen Jarhead and was wondering who this 'Jody' guy was back home. Jody is the guy back home stealing your girl, riding in your car, partying it up while you are away, or even they guy your girlfriend cheats on you with. He is the guy having fun living the life of luxury while you are training or in country.

I remember being asked if I had a girlfriend back home by a drill sergeant...I replied yes...and was told 'Bullsh_t! Jody just got her pregnant and is living in your apartment right now...they'll be long gone by the time you get outta here. You stop thinking about that cheatin' bit_h back home right now...this is your family now!' Or at least someting along those lines...

As the cadence goes...

Ain't no use in going back
Jody's got your Cadillac

Ain't no use in calling home
Jody's got your girl and gone

Ain't no use in feeling blue
Jody's got your sister too

Ain't no use in lookin' down
Ain't no discharge on the ground

Used to date a beauty queen
Now I date my M-16

As I used to think in my head when i've sang these cadences...F-you Jody.

And as long as we are on the topic of cadence, here is one hopefully I will be singing someday in the near future...sorry mom.

Sang to the tune of the 'Battle Hymn of the Republic'
He was just a rookie trooper and he surely shook with fright.
He checked off his equipment and made sure his pack was tight.
He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar.
You ain't gonna jump no more.

Chorus:
Gory, gory, what a hell of way to die.
Gory, gory, what a hell of way to die.
Gory, gory, what a hell of way to die.
He ain't gonna jump no more.

"Is everybody happy?" cried the sergeant looking up.
Our hero feebly answered, "Yes", and then they stood him up.
He jumped into the icy blast, his static line unhooked.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock.
He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the awful drop.
The silk from his reserve spilled out and wrapped around his legs.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

The risers swung around his neck, connectors cracked his dome.
Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones.
The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

The days he lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind.
He thought about the girl back home, the one he left behind.
He thought about the medicos and wondered what they'd find.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild.
The medics jumped and screamed with glee, rolled up their sleeves and smiled.
For it had been a week or more since last a 'chute had failed.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

He hit the ground, the sound was "Splat," his blood went spurting high.
His comrades they were heard to say, "A helluva way to die."
He lay there rolling 'round in the welter of his gore.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

There was blood upon the risers, there were brains upon the 'chute.
Intestines were a-dangling from his paratrooper suit.
He was a mess, they picked him up and poured him from his boots.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

Second Hand Ska Kings Make A UPN Apperanance?

2005-11-16T18:35:00.000-05:00

Hey there. I have some kind of exciting news. Apparently a TV show called Veronica Mars on UPN may have a song by a certian local ska band included in next Wednesdays show.

I am not sure if it's going to happen yet...it would be pretty cool if it did.

And by the way...anyone seen Veronica Mars?

I Was In What?!

2005-11-15T16:17:00.000-05:00

It has been brought to my attention that I had a part of my reaction to the Iraqi elections earlier in the year...quoted in the Dallas Morning News.
I can't believe I am just now finding out about it. A Minnesota rube who literaly wrote that post while lying on the floor of his apartment...the internet is a pretty amazing thing.

Greatest Arcade Tunes

2005-11-15T01:21:00.000-05:00

If you have never been to Retro Crush you need to check it out. Especially for all you culture junkies.

They have a post of the greatest video arcade music of all time...I am dissapointed that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game did not make the cut.

Also check out the greatest 50 music moments of all time. I am with it on the

Go

now!

I'm Fully Operational

2005-11-10T22:02:00.000-05:00

Greetings!

Hello. I have completed my 'post break-up' trifecta. New apartment back in my old Uptown neighborhood...new job as a logistics team leader at good old Target...and new laptop!

I have a three day weekend to boot. Although I might add Uncle Sam owns my butt the whole time. I should have much to write about come Sunday.

Check out the Second Hand Ska Kings site...we've been pretty busy lateley (playing the Uptowner, Triple Rock Social Club, and an appearance on the KQRS Homegrown show.)

It's great to be back full time!

Whoa...A Post!

2005-10-03T23:58:00.000-04:00

Hello all!

I'm finally getting back to semi-regular status. It's been a productive and difficult hiatus, and i'm excited to get back into blog nerd status.

These last months have been difficult...lots of post break-up stuff to get over...and some other assorted non-sense. No need to go into it here.

On the productive side of things...I have much to report.
New job, new bands, and a new apartment in the very near future.

New job- Logistics Team Leader with Target. Check out the new Roseville store!

New gigs- Playing with Jesse Lukes, the Second Hand Ska Kings (soon to be on KQ's Homegrown show,) the Minnesota Jazz Orchestra, and a yet to be named jazz recording that is in the works.

And i'm in the hunt back in the uptown area...can't stay away from the lakes, I love 'em!

Anyway, thanks for all the kind words from everyone the last months!

And to Harold...yes, Private Ryan is just my screen name. I'm a Specialist (SPC) in real life. Hmmm, maybe I should change the screen name...

Soldier Life...

2005-08-19T01:02:00.000-04:00

A fellow milblogger (who is linked to the sidebar on your left under the milblogs heading) is getting published!

American Soldier is one of the first blogs out of Iraq that I started to read, and to this day is one of the best.

Please read the below press release and consider buying a copy of the book.

Take particular note of the last paragraph.

Well done buddy.

SOLDIER LIFE: A DAY IN THE LIFE OF AN AMERICAN SOLDIER

New Book Detailing the Everyday Life of an American Soldier's Experience with The War on Terror from LBF Books

PITTSBURGH, PA , Aug. 18 - LBF Books to publish Soldier Life: A Day in the Life of an American Soldier (ISBN 1-885093-44-6 ). The book details the author's experiences while deployed and back home, weaving a gut-wrenching, heartfelt tapestry of experiences and emotions unique to soldiers' living and dying in this war. American Soldier's work comprised of elements drawn from his critically acclaimed and widely read weblog ( www.soldierlife.com), aims to bring the grim, yet human face of war to readers everywhere.

The author, writing under a pseudonym to protect his identity, delivers a first-person account of the constantly changing world of an American Soldier attempting to balance both family and responsibility while enduring the reality of war. Soldier Life: A Day in the Life of an American Soldier chronicles the events engulfing modern day patriots, and the hardships he willingly endured to ensure safety and security of family and country left behind.

Soldier Life: A Day in the Life of an American Soldier is required reading for those looking for an intimate insight into the minds of fathers, husbands, and warriors serving in this war.

LBF Books plans to release Soldier Life: A Day in the Life of an American Soldier in December, 2005.

American Soldier & LBF Books will be donating a large portion of the proceeds to Soldiers Angels ( www.soldiersangels.org) and Operation Troop Appreciation (www.operationtroopappreciation.org). Both organizations are federally recognized programs that assist Troops abroad with care packages and items needed while deployed.

20 Year Outlook For Osama

2005-08-16T00:25:00.000-04:00

The Fourth Rail has an interesting post on an Speigel Online article by Fouad Hussein's piece on Al Qeada's 20 year 7 phase program.

Read here.

It's an interesting read, however what concerns me is this...our enemies think long term, even if it is just dreaming with no real logistical know how, and rampant misreading and misinterpretation of the Muslim sentiment.

Some of our enemies are thinking decades out, we cannot seem to get beyond our own election cycles, as evidenced by recent US public opinion on the state of OIF.

As much as I hate to, I have to admit, I am pretty discouraged by the recent OIF polls if they are indeed true.

PEOPLE! You cannot halfass victory in the war on terror. We were halfassing it for decades before we got serious. Now is not the time to lose our will. No one said the war on terror would be easy or short. The US military will not quit, and neither should you.

De oppresso liber (To Liberate The Oppressed) US Army Special Forces

2005-08-14T23:01:00.000-04:00

Recently I have gotten questions regarding US Special Forces. Now, technically Special Forces refers to the Green Berets, officially when all special units are referred to collectively the military uses Special Operations Forces or SOF.

Everyone knows about the SEAL teams, Delta Force, and Army Rangers. Most people are not aware there are numerous SOF groups, all with unique missions. Ever heard of Red Cell? 160th SOAR, the Night Stalkers? How about Air Force Commandos?

There are many groups in all branches of service capable of a wide array of missions...everything from intel, direct action, anti-terror ops, to demolition and security.

These guys are the BEST the military has to offer.

Go here and here to get hip to US SOF.

Airborne Shmairborne

2005-08-13T19:10:00.000-04:00

For those of you who are interested...mostly my Army buddies...here is an interesting little post and commentary on badges for the BDU and the new ACU.

Outside The Beltway

Hello Again

2005-08-09T22:35:00.000-04:00

Greetings everyone.

Thanks for all the kind words this last month. I won't lie, it's been pretty hard. Lots of job searching. Lots of apartment hunting. Lots of Army training. But mostly lots of trying to figure life stuff out. I won't go into anymore detail, this is not that kind of blog. Suffice to say, it's been lonley. However I did find a job with a substantial raise and great benefits...so hooray.

There has been some big 34th infantry division news. Another 2700 to 2900 soldiers will be making the trip to Iraq.

Personally, I want to go and do my job. My units mission is wherever the troops are, and I want to be with them, I should be with them.

All my views on OIF, the politics, the many opinions on the war on terror aside, there are 34th ID Minnesota soldiers in Iraq and that is enough for me to go.

Personal stuff...

Angie- I love you and I hope Belieze was everything you were expecting. God bless you kiddo.

Kelly- Miss you lots. We need to drink some beer together really soon.

SPC Rezendez- You are one of the finest people I have ever served with. Your professionalism was always an inspiration for me, and your friendship got me and many other 1st platoon soldiers through some tough times. Hope all is well battle.

PFC Belknap- Norfolk was a hell of a place battle...you had a great calming influence on a lot of people, something STUCO needed badly. I wish you were in my unit, you have a lot of potential...and I sincerely hope you are in college as you have a good head on your shoulders. And yes my friend, my pimp hand is strong.

Benny from drum corps- My deepest sympathy on the death of your sister. I pray the police can give your family the justice they derserve...and put those animals where they belong.

UPCOMING GIG...
Performing with Jesse Luekes at the Varsity Theater in Dinkytown this Friday. The group sounds like Ben Folds playing Portishead. Hope to see you there.

Yeah, I'm Okay

2005-07-15T12:45:00.000-04:00

Hey there. And thanks for the emails.

It's been a crappy couple of weeks...moving out of my apartment...dividing up the mutual posessions of the ex and myself...looking for a new place to live. It has been really tough.

More later when I am not so busy.

I have not been single in 4 and a half years...this SUCKS!

Sad Homecoming

2005-06-30T14:02:00.000-04:00

Hello all. I am home from Norfolk.

While it's great to be home...my girlfriend of 4 and a half years and I are no more.

Unfortunately, I no longer have the web access I once had, much of my time the next couple of weeks will be used finding another place to live, and lastly...I just don't have that blogging feeling right now.

Check in for some periodic updates...hopefully I will return to full status sooner rather than later.

Carrier Life

2005-06-24T17:46:00.000-04:00

This is an interesting post from an interesting blog. It details a day in the life of a sailor on an aircraft carrier.

It's of particular interest to me since I am here in Norfolk. I've seen some HUGE ships, and even a couple of carriers...these things are gi-normous! It would be great to take a tour of one, however, spending 6 months at sea on one is not high on my list. Crappy way to go to war.

I've learned a lot about the Navy since I have been here...they have bad food (and I am judging by Army standards,) they have weird ranks, and even weirder uniforms. It's just kind of an odd place for an Minnesota soldier like myslef to be.

Although it's weird I am gaining respect for the work the Navy does...true they do wussy PT, can't fire a rifle to save their lives, and they have funny bell bottomed pants...but they own the seas...something the Army can't do. (If you are a SEAL reading this, I just kidding about all that stuff about wussy PT and whatnot...you guys are just plain crazy.)

Drive on Navy!

Red Sea Baby

2005-06-21T16:17:00.000-04:00

The next Second Hand Ska Kings Gig will be 09 July at the Red Sea...more to follow.

And on that note, there are some tunes available for download at musicscene.org Go here sucka!

1 week left here in Norfolk...can't wait to get home! Miss you so much Karen!

Amazing!

2005-06-21T16:14:00.000-04:00

Here is a link to Shot In The Dark with an amazing story about an abducted girl. Thanks for the read Mitch, that made my night!

Destination Belize

2005-06-21T15:53:00.000-04:00

My good friend Angie will be spending some time WAY south of the border in Belize in the near future. Hopefully we will get some Belize blogging to add to the daily reads. I know I do because I know almost next to nothing about Belize...damn Eurocentric history...when will we learn? But in all seriousness there should be some good reading especially for you travel minded folks like my significant other.

I met Angie at Winona State University, and suffered through many-a music theory class together...sometimes a little inebriated from the night before. She hails from Janesville Minnesota and was a friend of 1LT Michael Fasnacht.

Have a great trip Angie, we will be waiting to hear from you.

230 Years Of Beat Downs

2005-06-14T17:21:00.000-04:00

Happy 230th birthday Army!

The official site.

As it has always been, Soldiers, both active and reserve, are the heart of the Army. Embued with the Warrior Ethos, our Soldiers are "Warriors of character" whose seriousness and sense of urgency are characteristic of an Army at war. Our Soldiers will always place the mission first, never accept defeat, never quit and will never leave a fallen comrade.

Take a look at the various campaigns through out the history of the US army, and if you feel like it, the causality stats...you can see who takes the brunt of the hits in our nations conflicts.

And lastly...

The Soldiers Creed

I am an American Soldier.
I am a Warrior and a member of a team.
I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defeat.
I will never quit.
I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.
I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.
I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.
I am an American Soldier.

WTF?

2005-06-14T17:16:00.000-04:00

Apparently a school in Vermont is changing its schools mascots name from the crusaders to...ohh who gives a flying f...

This kind of PC crap helps nothing.

Read on.

On a little side note...my basic training was completed with the 1/19th field artillery battalion, charlie company...first platoon...THAT'S RIGHT...CRUSADERS!!! Better protest the Army too...